Even or Odd

I swore...SWORE I would not have three children. I also swore with that same mouth that if I had three then I would have Four!

Well here I am 18 months into being a mommy to three. And I have to admit it's not as bad as I thought! There are several good things about having three! I love the life that Lucy brought to our family. I honestly believe she has two of her grandmothers in her. One is her Great Great Grandma Lucy that she was named after as well as my dad's mom who died when I was pregnant with Lucy! Lucy's love for nature and birds is just like that of Grandma Will! I love that! Both grandmother's memories are alive through her!

It's with the same breath that I say I still sometimes wonder if I should stick to my initial plan of four...Even numbers tend to round things up. Every child would have a partner! If I could guarantee it would be a boy I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I just don't have that power!

I have learned that as my babies become children and pre tweens they become more expensive. Gifts are harder to buy as they too are more expensive. Homework gets harder. Schedules get more cramped. Laundry explodes from a mole hill to a mountain. Adding another innocent baby into the mix seems unfair to that child! Although it would be loved by not only a dad and a mom but three great siblings as well. I want my kids to have the nicer things in life, but I'm a realist! I understand that it's better for my kids just to have shelter, love, three meals a day and a strong family bond! So I know I can do this with three kids! I've been doing it for 18 months! I cannot, however, guarantee that I could do these things with four children!

Money is tight. Jason works hard and makes good money. He also works very hard to do LOTS of side jobs at the house for cash. Him doing this has let me have the ability to work just part time. I love my part time schedule! I am thankful for all that Jason does to provide for our family! A baby brings with him/her, diapers, formula, lack of sleep, added weight gain, pregnancy issues, more laundry and more dishes, a busier schedule with appointments, vaccinations and so much more!

So for now...as I see the words on the screen in black and white I'm able to say that for now...three is good! I'll be getting my baby fix from SO MANY friends and family that are expecting! I can live vicariously through them. Also I'm young! I'll be 30 in February. So I can decide to have number 4 later a few years down the road. But for now I'm happy. I am truly blessed with three AMAZING children that are all special for their own reasons. I wouldn't trade that for anything!!